Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Does your to-do list look something like this:

· Walk dog

· Water plants

· Break up with significant other

Alright, while ending a relationship is rarely at the top of anybody’s calendar, the truth is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The fact is that lots of relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date simply because breaking up is difficult to do.

Occasionally a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being tossed out of a second story window.

Sometimes, the relationship just drags out until someone says “that’s it.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither person gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to cease the romance. The first reason that comes to mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Plan a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an problem in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will treasure that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re prepared to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you keep a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to choose. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

Learn more about making relationships work.